Food: Kim Toa Kai Si Mee

Kai Si Mee isn't exactly my favourite noodle growing up. I've always favored noodles with spicy broth like Northern Hokkien Mee or otherwise known as Prawn Mee or Tom Yam Noodle compared to noodles with clear looking broth like Kuey Tiau Soup or Kai Si Mee. My uncle didn't call me chili queen for nuts. I literally can't live without chili. Whatever I eat, I usually make sure that there's chili to go along it. But today, I'm not going to talk about my love affair with chillies. I'm gonna talk about how leaving home for college/uni makes me appreciate all the idiot proof food there is in Alor Setar. One of it being, Alor Setar's Kai Si Mee. Kai Si Mee is basically noodle, with chicken strips and some chicken stock soup added to the noodle for flavor. That's how idiot proof the noodle sold is. Nevertheless, when I left home for uni, only did I realize that Kai Si Mee is something that is only sold in Northern states. I'm not sure about Perak and Penang, but I've never seen or ordered this anywhere else aside from Alor Setar. So that's when I start to appreciate this noodle and would order a plate every time I'm back home. Overtime I learn to like it and find the noodle, although very simple but it is very flavorful and of course with a slight touch of chili padi added to it for some oomph when you bite into those killer bird's eye chili. The original look of this noodle is clear without dark soy sauce added to it. When I was younger, I dislike eating plain looking noodles thus my mom would request to add black soy sauce to give it some color. Color matters that much to me. And after that, it got stuck till today, every time I order, he never fails to add black soy sauce although I wouldn't mind a plate without black soy sauce. There are several Kai Si Mee seller here in Alor Setar, but since coming back home, the first place I always visit would be mom's kopitiam, Kim Toa and he's the only person selling food, so Kai Si Mee it is for breakfast. He used to open 7 days a week with Friday being half day, but now that he's older, I think he has finally decided he needs a break once a week so he now closes on Monday. I guess the biggest point to him in deciding to close for a day is because all his kids are now grown up, so he can relax a little and can afford to have a rest day. I'm happy coz that means my mom get to rest too. Imagine operating a kopitiam for the past 16 years everyday. Early morning to midnight? How's that for extremely hard working? Basically all the veterans famous noodle sellers or hawker food seller are taking a day off in a week since a lot of them are now older, it gets really tiring to have to run a business with no rest day.

Thoughts: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

I've not met anyone that has prove me that the above does not apply to them. The fact is, it's true to the majority or at least to a good number of people out there. As 'sad' as it is, it is what it is. That is the norm. But can you blame them? People often get too occupied in life with work, family, church, exercise or living a healthy life that sometimes people just look past keeping in touch with friends and families. It is definitely much easier to stay connected to people that are physically closer as one takes the effort more to have companionship be it for an agenda or merely to have that people touch in life, nobody likes to be lonely. Even then, with a distance such as a phone call away, still if out of sight, it definitely will be out of mind for a lot of people. I'm guilty as charged as well but having two kids means I'm now a social pariah. Wait, maybe having kids is just my excuse. Matter of factly, all along I've been a social pariah that my number of friends once again is countable with just one hand. I'm definitely not a good acquaintance as a social retard like myself likes to avoid the awkward moments when I run out of topic, not even topic, small talks to talk about if I find myself not comfortable enough or not being able to 'click'. I've been told countless of times I keep diamonds in my mouth. While I may not be good at making new friends, the few friends I have are the friends I consider friends for life as these are the friends I made in my younger years. In my eyes, it's much easier to make friends during childhood times as oppose to adulthood. Children are innocent that way while as adults we over analyze everything. We have to, given the sorta creative judgement or crime people keep coming up with. Going back to topic, I myself have had my fair shares of keeping out of touch with people who are out of my sight. My grandmother is one of them. I always tell myself I ought to visit her more often because I know how lonely she gets everyday. Every time I get a phone call from her, I'm always overridden with guilt, feeling so bad for not visiting her. So that's my guilty as charge case. But in my defense, I've also put in some effort to those who are dear to me. The thing with me is that when I put in some effort to be in touch with old pals or families but I don't receive the same kinda effort, my esteem suffers a pretty big blow thinking I'm probably not as important to them as they are to me, thus I slowly seep into the withdrawal state whereby I stop trying. That doesn't make me stop thinking of the people that matters to me. I think about them all the time, I just stop my efforts because I feel a tiny wee bit unappreciated and I feel really small in their world. What's worse is that some people only call when they need a favor from me! That irks me but I usually turn a blind eye to it, giving people the benefit of the doubt. It does make me sad for not receiving the kinda same efforts but reiterating, I understand that as time pass, people get really occupied with families, work, activities and agenda of their own life. Just like me, with two kids around, it seems like there's barely time for anything. While I try to be understanding about everyone being busy living their own life, on the contrary, not having time is also an excuse. There's always time for something or someone when I or you takes the effort to make the time. 😊

Food: Char Siew Fan @ Barbecued Pork Rice

Have you come across the feeling of not knowing what to eat week after week when you have to eat out? Now that my passion for cooking and baking has gone into hibernation mode because A) I'll be moving real soon despite 'soon' being in a few months time, B) My kitchen is in a mess and C) I hate cooking in a shitty kitchen, so we've been eating our for most of the weekends. Although when I google up recipes every now and then, I get the itch to wanna cook or bake, but here am I refraining from doing so, containing my excitement till the day I get to officialize my 'new' kitchen by cooking one heck of a scrumptious meal for my hubby as a celebration for owning our very first property. Moving on. So, week after week we have an additional chore to think real hard of WHAT to eat and WHERE to eat. And in Sri Muda, there just aren't that many good food around. All the nice food you can get in this tiny puny Sri Muda, you can count with like 1 hand. So usually for breakfast we go for either Robert's Corner roti canai or we buy some kampung chicken eggs to make soft boiled eggs with bread for the adults while chocolate cream bread or cereals for the kid or Malaysia's national food, Nasi Lemak. If we didn't have it this week, we would have it the following week. And then comes lunch, where we would play a game of asking one another "What to eat?", "I dunno. What to eat ah?". We go on for a bit and we usually settle for the sucky chicken rice or Pasembor/Indian Rojak or char siew fan or noodles. When it comes to dinner we usually escape the headache by joining Kevin's family for dinner so the tough decision making would befall on whoever it is and we have the luxury of just going along and sometimes complaining. The hardest part is us having to consider Ezra. He's basically the ultimate key to which our decision making on what to eat falls on. We have to get something that he will eat and mind you, to feed a picky 3 year old toddler is not easy. When they're that small and young but already have the ability to think and be selective, it makes me want to claw my own eyes out when I pick the wrong menu for a meal because I would need to think of a different food to feed him if he refuses to eat what I buy. I do know he won't starve himself but I do not enjoy seeing such a sour puss look he has on his face when he's being force to eat something he doesn't enjoy.  He hasn't been a big fan of rice when we first introduce solid, but nevertheless we decided to introduce this Char Siew Fan from Restoran Spring Golden because we both like it. Keeping our fingers crossed when he took his first mouth full of RICE and char siew, he chewed and swallowed and then he kept going at it mouth after mouth, we were delighted! Probably because it has a sweet sauce to complement it. Which kid doesn't like sweet? Ever since then, this Char Siew Fan has become our Sunday lunch choice by default. Like almost every Sunday that I'm starting to get very sick of it. Anyways, this char siew by far is the best I've tasted. Unlike the normal char siew which is usually just lean meat coated with hoisin sauce or whatever sauce, these char siew has two layers which consist of fat and tenderized meat which is accompanied by their secret recipe sauce which makes the char siew sweet and the meat ohhhh so tender that it sorta melts in your mouth. The shop is usually crowded by lunch hours and you've got to be there early for their char siew. Aside from char siew, they have siu yuk or roasted pork, roasted chicken and roasted duck. And they do serve noodles and vegetables as well. Mind you these char siew aren't exactly the cheapest. For a packet of Char Siew Fan, it cost RM 7 ish. The Char Siew Fan in the picture has extra rice and char siew since a packet is way too much for little Ezra. And since we have two kids to handle, we usually have it tapao-ed just so we can take our time to eat and feed at the comfort of our home.

Restoran Spring Golden Char Siew Fan

Motherhood: Potty training

Where to begin? How to begin? When to begin? The endless questions I had when I first broach the idea of potty training my toddler. Being a Chinese adds to the pressure more. For some reason Chinese are famous for potty training their babies as young as 2 3 months old and probably once their baby hit the 6 months mark, they go diaper free? Crazy? I kid you not, there are probably cases like that, who knows. My own mother has brought this topic up a couple times. She constantly told me to 'shhhuuuhhh' my son once he gets up from his sleep or nap so he understands the idea of peeing and every 20 mins, I should bring him to the toilet to 'shhuhh' him. By shhuhh, she meant to hold the baby in front of de toilet and make the peeing sound effect to stimulate the baby to pee. I tried to shhuhh him when he wakes up from nap, clearly I find it too troublesome to do so and to check the clock every 20 mins. The bitter truth is, I'm just too lazy. I gave up. I did tell my MIL to do it too, after a while I think she too gave up. She probably finds it too leceh too. Can I blame her? No, I don't blame her. I read that pushing a child to go diaper free before they're ready, they tend to have more accidents as they grow up. I asked my MIL how did she train her youngest daughter to go diaper free, she told me she never did. Once her daughter was 4 years old, she just told her to pee and poo in the potty, she understood and that was it. All it takes is a day work. While I'm too lazy to bring my son to the toilet every 15 to 20 mins to get him to pee, I'm not keen on him wearing the diaper till 4 years old either. Taking cue from seeing my cousin potty training my nephew when he was two, I made that my benchmark to begin potty training once Ezra turns two. If Shane could be potty trained, Ezra can too.

So I had two potties bought, more like sponsored by Miss Ran, one to be placed at my MIL's house and one for us to use at home. So the first step was to get him to sit on the potty. The problem was he didn't want to seat on the potty! He just wanted to play with it. Disappointed, I had to convinced myself that my little boy just wasn't ready and gave up the idea. I decided to wait till he was ready as that's my favorite approach to use when it comes to weaning or introducing something to Ezra. I remember reading every now and then to remind myself to watch for signs a boy is ready to potty train. I never saw the signs. I put him on cloth diaper during the day hoping that the wetness would make him uncomfortable enough to give up diapers. It worked slowly, minimally. Little did I realize, those were the baby steps taken to prepare him towards potty training. Eventually, when he was about 2 1/2 years old, he would go diaper free in the evening for about 2-3 hours.We had to remind him so often to tell us when he wants to pee pee or asked him he wants to pee pee. There were countless of times he would accidentally wet his pants when he was too busy playing. It took a while before he could start telling us he wanted to pee. And even then, he wouldn't pee in the potty. He would opt to pee standing up in the loo. Problem with that is that he hasn't mastered the skill to aim, every time he pees it trickles all over the place. There were times where he would pee with one leg up or open his legs as wide as possible, almost to a split!, to avoid his pee from running down his legs. Those were the funny times. Over time, he slowly mastered holding his pee and could go diaper free during the day except for naps and tell us whenever he wants to pee but he still very much needed the diaper to do his number 2. For the second time, I decided to try again but this time I bought two child toilet seat, hoping the seat would get his interest more. That went to waste lol. He wouldn't seat on the toilet seat either. Never mind that, at least he pees in the loo. Fast forward to half a year later, my urge to get him to fully be on the potty was getting stronger. He was approaching 3 years old. Problem was I didn't have the time. I only had weekends and weekends alone weren't enough. I can't rely on my MIL as this was my responsibility to potty train my son, not hers. So when I was on my maternity leave for 2 months, I gave myself a mission, to potty train Ezra when I was back in my hometown for 3 weeks, by hook or by crook, I had to get it done. If I don't do it then, I don't know when else would I have the time to do so. So it began. For some dumb reason, it ended in military style. Stress like crap. While he now accepts sitting down to pee but he wouldn't tell me when he wants to pee, often ending with him peeing his pants. I remember that one fine day was so stressful not just for me, but very much so for my poor boy as well. I remember beating his backside (I'm Asian, we beat our kids), scolding him every time he accidentally wets himself for not telling me when I know he knows how to tell me when he wants to pee, screaming my head off, threatening him with a cane, punishing him to go pantless when he wets ALL the pants there is for him, even to go pantless when he takes his nap. It was a bad day. I was angry because he wouldn't tell me when he wants to pee. Now judge me all you want, I admit I am not the world's best mother and I have lost my temper with him. I'm very much aware of the whole encouragement vs fear approach but my stupidity on that very day for expecting him to accept the potty in a days time. I forgot that Rome wasn't built in a day. As I said, it was a stressful and bad day for us. As he was sleeping pantless that day, watching him sleep, I reflected the whole stressful day and obviously overcame with regret my course of actions and feeling like crap myself, I told myself perhaps he just wasn't ready. So the next day, I lighten up and took a whole different approach to make the whole experience filled with fun irregardless if he succeeds in doing his number 1 and 2 in the potty. For some funny reason he too changed and he would alert whenever he wanted to pee and the best part was, he peed in the potty. I was ecstatic. I remember one of the time he ended up pooing in the potty. That was when I rewarded him with chocolates to further encourage him. And we would 'run run run' to the potty together whenever he wanted to pee and poo and I told him if he peed in the potty, he gets one chocolate, if he poo poo, he gets TWO chocolates. It worked. I knew then, that was the day I succeeded in potty training him in the day time. Of course there were accidents here and there but it was still a learning process for him. After two three weeks, we were doing great with the potty during the day time.

So now the only problem I have left, was night time potty training. I didn't know how to do it. I wasn't sure where I should begin. So I left it as it is, always wanting to try but never took it to action. There was a time where I forgot to wear his diaper for him and he wet himself. So I figured, night time potty training was gonna take a while but I wanted to do it before we move to the new place with a new mattress. But I wasn't gonna force him if he wasn't ready. Luck was on my side. 3 months after his day time potty training, one fine day, he just told me to throw his diaper I had already put it on him away and he told me he didn't want to wear diaper to sleep. So I reminded him in case he wanted to pee, to wake up and tell me but I was very much ready for him to wet the bed. So I had the waterproof mat and a towel place underneath the bedsheet on where he slept. Surprisingly, he woke up every time he needed to relieve himself. It's been a week now, so far so good. He has not wet himself, not once on the bed. He woke up every time he needed to pee, most of the time half dead and so sleepy he can barely move, so momma has to carry him to the potty and back to his bed. He woke up usually twice a night and he can now hold his pee for at least 6 hours now at night. I can't tell you how proud I am of him and that our potty training experience is now completed for both daytime and night time.He has now upgraded himself from diapers to undies.

Ezra on his potty

His collection of undies from Mothercare!

Posing for the camera with his blue undies on

House: Inefficiences of the inefficient

It's been 5 approaching 6 months since we first made our purchase of the apartment, we've yet to get the keys to the house. I don't know in other countries how long will the process take but it can't possibly take 6 months long, not for sub sales or second hand purchase at least. If it's a new development, that's different. The worst is, despite having a deadline stated in the SPA, given 3 months + 1 month extended with interest charge to the buyer, in the event the buyer has delayed in any form during the process, none to the damn seller, in Malaysia, it's ok to look pass through the deadline in the agreement. I've heard countless of times people telling me, the bank is slow to release the payment. That's not what I observe. In our cases, it's how inefficient and unreliable the lawyers are at their job! I'm a little unhappy with my lawyers too, reason being when the agreement was drawn up by my lawyers, in the event we cannot meet the payment deadline after 3 months, the sellers would automatically need to give an extended period of 1 month with interest charge to the buyers (in this case us) in the event we as the buyer has delayed the process and has failed to get the payment to release to the sellers on time. But none to the sellers side, if it is them that has delayed the whole process, what will be given to us, is extended period, nothing charged to them. What a load of BS. As this is my first property purchase, there are a lot of things I don't know, thus I leave my trust in my lawyers to protect the interest of their client, which is us, not the sellers. Now that the sellers' lawyers has delayed over and over and over again. The first time by 52 freaking days when the bank's (we applied for housing loan) lawyer requested for some documents to which the sellers' lawyer are to provide, no word from them for 52 days and when they finally gave the documents, it was wrong! How stupid can one be? And how frustrating is that for us? I'm not even gonna go into the race card. It's obvious in Malaysia which race are the laziest. And it's exactly cases like these where a label is given to them for being lazy and unreliable and inefficient. That was just for the first payment release. Short explanation: The sellers still owe their bank money from the loan they took. So, the loan we, the buyer now take from a different bank, would have to first settle the amount they owe to their bank and the remaining balance of their profit made from the sale would be release to the sellers, as second payment. So, right after much delay the first payment release and the bank's lawyer advised us that it would take another month for the second payment to be release provided the sellers' lawyers EFFICIENTLY get the necessary documents required by the bank. And as expected again, the sellers' lawyers delay. When our lawyers called to ask what's the progress like, I don't know what kinda fucking dumb firm can give answers like 'Ohhh, the officer in charge of the case has been on leave for days and nobody knows when she will be back. We haven't seen her for days.". WTF right? And how fucked up is that coming from a professional law firm. Is that even our problem? And over the next few days, we were told ' The officer in charge of our unit has quit her job'. The worst being, it doesn't look like the sellers give two shits when calls are made to her to complain. When I speak to a friend of mine who has experience in properties, she asked if it's stated in my agreement that if the sellers lawyers delay the process, we would be compensated. OBVIOUSLY NO! As it turns out, there can be such clause in an agreement to protect the buyers. She said only smart lawyers would make sure there would be such clauses to protect their clients. Clearly, my lawyers are pretty dumb. And this is where my frustration comes in with my lawyers. Already when the first payment release, we would need to start paying interest to the bank, on top of our current rent, if the sellers' lawyers delay as they like with no interest charged to them, obviously, the losing parties here are the buyers. We need to wait months after months after months helplessly not being able to do anything, we need to start paying our loan and rent at the same time while the sellers get away with delaying for as long as they like. So when I question my lawyers why didn't they put such clause in to protect us? I'm not trying to earn money from the sellers for wanting to have the clause, but it's to avoid either party from delaying for too long. I'm sure if there was indeed such clauses in the agreement, the sellers would've taken the effort to follow up with their lawyers more often to avoid any interest being charge to them like how we wouldn't want to be charge any interest. Here's the sorta dumb reply I get from my lawyers.

"Your main concern as a buyer are the following three things:-

1) to get a good title to the property;

2) to get vacant possession to the property; and

3) to make sure there is no late payment interest if the lateness is not caused by you.

And the main concern for the Vendor is the money that he is getting back from the sale of the property.

In your case, the late compliance by the Vendor has in turn extended the time frame for your

bank to disburse payment to them. Now the only concern is to get the keys to the property. We have been doing this for you but the Vendor's lawyer are not responding.

The standard conveyancing procedure in Malaysia specifies that if the seller delays then you get more time to pay him (he does not give you interest). Your ultimately recourse if the delay gets out of control is either:-

a) sue him in court for an order to force him to comply; or

b) cancel the deal and get back your money along with compensation equivalent to 10% of the purchase price.

We recommend that you call the vendor yourself as we are not allowed to speak with him to tell him about the delay."

First, why isn't getting the property on time my concern as a buyer? Nobody likes buying something and having to wait forever to receive it. I'm not complaining that they're doing a lousy job. I'm just not entirely happy for not having the clause stated in the agreement cause with that clause stated, we could've avoided such LOOOOONNNGGG delay and I'm pretty damn sure they know it, and if they could redo the agreement, they would've put in the clause. And I'm sure they've got tons of experience drawing up properties Sales and Purchase Agreement and have probably come across situations like ours so it's their responsibility as a hired lawyer to ensure the interest of their clients are protected! While I really appreciate them for being really efficient and timely and for doing their job, if they fucked up even a teeny wee bit, they should have just offer an apology. I hate it when people come back with an army tank of defenses instead of admitting that they should've put in that clause. Secondly, it took us soooo long to look for an affordable property, and 5 months since we last made our down payment for the unit, the price for other units has gone up by 15 - 20%, why the fuck would  we want to cancel the deal? If I do indeed shit money for a living, I would A) sue the sellers for the fun of it and B) cancel the deal to make the sellers life miserable. But I don't. I'm not left with any options here except to go with the flow. Like I said, as a buyer, we're clearly the losing parties.I didn't even bother to reply my lawyer's email because from the sound of their reply to my queries, clearly, lawyers don't back down and would argue their ass off despite being wrong, and they can't offer any apologies. I don't wanna waste my time arguing with lawyers who A) think they're always right and B) for being useless, unreliable and inefficient. Lawyers, you're on my blacklist. 

Crafts: Crochet

I've seen countless of times crochet booties, beanies and head bands for baby girls and I simply love it. I love the simplicity of the design and the fact it's hand sewn, which gives it the whole unique vibe. However that many times when I was looking for head bands online, the price does not come cheap. I've seen a pair of tiny crochet booties cost like RM30 or more. It can't possibly be that expensive. I'm cheap that way. Unwilling to spend on something I feel I won't be utilizing frequently or unwilling to pay for something I feel cost much lesser. But as a friend shared with me, it's totally worth the buy even if it's on their little one for just 5 minutes or for the purpose of photography. I figured I could look at it from that perspective. Baby girls after all are meant to keep all the mummies out there busy dolling their baby girl up. So seeing all these super über cute crochet booties, beanies and headbands, I was so inspired to DIY it myself. Telling myself, it can't possibly be that hard and it would be a good new hobby to pick up. I figured I could do this and maybe end up selling it. Some ambitions I've got there. My resolution for year 2013 is to finish up this huge piece of cross stitch I bought some 10 years ago right after high school which I never bothered to finish it. I figured since we'll be moving into our own home soon, I wanted to have a beautiful piece of art to hang. That's how I came up with the resolution. It's April and I've yet to start. Truth is I don't know if that resolution if achievable considering I've got two kids who keeps me really busy. As it is that I can't even find time to even start on my piece of cross stitch, here I am wanting to pick up a new hobby. Impulse buying got the best of me. I walked in the handicraft store, saw the sample of baby booties went to the lady and said 'Oh I would like to pick up knitting. Do you have a basic one I can start on?' She asked, what would I like to knit and I point to the obvious, which was Cadence. Baby stuffs. She advised me to start with clothes, it's much easier. She got all the things I needed like yarn, crochet hook and books. I think that was my first time swallowing my saliva worried about the cost of the books. So I told her I don't want to buy a book just yet since I'm only starting out, moreover the book is in Japanese, she told me no problem. I can just photocopy a page for RM3.50. That was the first WTF I had in mind. RM3.50 for a piece of paper? Felt like I'm being ripped off. Right after she got everything I needed and place it on the counters, she looked at me waiting for my next request. That was my second WTF running through my mind. What did I get myself into? So I asked where do I begin? I've never done this before. She looked at me with wide eyes open and went oooh coz she assumed I've done it before. Then she started explaining the difference between what I heard as "crochey" at that time and knitting advising me to start with crochet since it's much easier. For the third time, WTF is crochet man? Big mistake apparently, I should've read upfront about wanting to start on whatever I plan to. I thought wanting to start knitting or crochet would be as simple as cross stitch. I was soooo wrong. But since I didn't want to look stupid, I just nodded my head along. Moreover if I wanted them to teach me on how to start, I have to sign up for life time membership which would cost me RM 500 one time charge. The problem is I don't have the time to drop in for lessons or stay for as long as some Tai Tais does. Nevertheless I still went with my guts to buy the things for crochet as a start. I figured I'll read from the net or rely on YouTube to start. In the event I still can't figure it out then I'll sign up for membership. So as she was calculating the cost of the yarns and hook, the total came up to RM135. That was the last WTF that kept playing in my mind over and over again. How the hell does a yarn cost RM 20 + per roll? She took 4 roll for me. Never have I thought that picking up crochets would be so expensive! To add salt to the wound, I had no idea what the hell is crochet and didn't even know where to begin! Damage was done, I wasn't gonna backdown. So I read up a little. That got boring quickly because there's just sooooo many terms to learn. From one link to another and that seem never ending. It's pretty confusing for me since it was my first time doing crochet. I watch clips on YouTube which was much more helpful and it resulted in some progress at least. So I figured a baby shirt at this point just seem like a real challenge and I'm gonna start with something simpler. Perhaps a head band or booties. So fascinated by baby booties with flowers, I decided to start with flowers. Here's the result.